Being a people pleaser, when my kids were little it was hard for me to say, “NO”.
But I knew it wasn’t good for them to always get their own way.
Then I found a secret!
When your kids ask for something that you probably need to say “No” to, instead responding sharply, we can say
“Maybe. Let me think about it.”
That way you you have given them some hope without being the big meanie and crushing their dreams.
Don’t do this all the time, however, or they will start thinking that ‘maybe’ means ‘no’!
And there are lots of ways to say, “No” without being harsh or cruel.
The main thing is to allow the child to feel as though you are on his side and you are not opposing him in his ambitions.
You can say, “Not this time, Honey” or “ Hey, that’s a great idea! Right now is not a good time, but maybe we can do that someday!”
Also if it’s a desire for a thing, like a toy or a pet you know you cannot afford the time or money for, there are lots of ways to work with that desire.
One is to allow the child to create a dream board:
- Encourage them to draw a picture of the thing, event or experience they want.
- Then draw a picture of them playing with the toy, pet or doing the activity.
- Next put it on a poster board or on the wall for them to see.
In the process they will also learn to clarify what it is they want, and how it will fit into their life.
Tell them this is important in achieving our dreams, that just because you can’t have something now, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get it in the future.
This will teach them that things “take time to happen overnight” and that it is part of the process to get your own way through patience and forward thinking.
This is just a short snippet of what I share in my weekly Stressed Supermom’s Survival Sessions!
If you want your kids to grow up to the most loving, creative and positive people on earth, sign up HERE.
Sending Love in Action to you and your kids,